The BOOK - whaddya think?

The first chapter of my yet untitled book of Living Like a Cheapskate! This is a tongue-in-cheek book full of blurblets. Don’t expect to find a rehash of old-timey budget saving tips such as “cut coupons” or “turn your undies inside out to use ‘em twice”. No, no, the reader will find real tips that will allow them to more easily slither through life with a fuller wallet. All these tricks set forth in the book, if used, are the reader’s responsibility to do so in a responsible manner. I will not be sued for any shenanigans that the reader engages in. Maybe the Devil did make you do it, but it wasn’t me. I am just the idea man.
- Paul D Seeley

The Premise, The Problem

A fact of life is that most of us want to live. And in doing so we must use resources to sustain our biological organism, not to mention or mental and spiritual sanity. However, most people in our culture consume way more than they need, and for no particular reason.
We are known as a consumerist culture for a reason. What drives our economy and culture is the constant desire to accumulate and use up a never ending string of material goods. From infants, we are acculturated with the idea that more is better, and bigger is better. This mindset stems from the belief that those who die with the most toy wins. In the end, those that die with the most toys....still die. I can only speculate that those who are dead, if given the chance to look back through their Chunnel of life, would realize how much of their waking existence was spent in pursuit of acquiring certain objects. Some of these objects may be necessary, but many are not.
Where does this drive to acquire come from? The television is the most efficient medium in selling the drama. Most American children spend over 4 hours a day in front of the Electronic Babysitter. That is 28 hours a week. That is 120 hours a month. Ad nauseum. Ad infinitum. During their marathons of watching cartoons, etc., children view commercials. Commercials geared towards children generally feature an animated creature who tells the children (directly or through acting) that if the child has this new (fill in the blank) toy, or snack, then the child will be cool. Next time you watch a cartoon, look for the “wow” factor. Notice how children with the “cool” toys are in the “in crowd” and have more “friends”. Repeat this for 18 years. Now give the child access to the parental unit’s money, or less frequently his or her own money, and see how they shop till they drop! Is it any wonder they call it TV “programming”. Yes indeed good reader, children are programmed by companies, through the television to be spenders!! Although this is not the only crime TV is guilty of, this is the one that is pertinent to this readable diatribe.

Blame the parents. They have the power to kill their replacement (The TV), but they don’t. They are addicted to the same opiate of the masses...escapism. They also have this nasty habit of showing “love” to their children by throwing them money. There is a good substitute for hugs and quality time. “Here honey, spend this...I have to go back to work to make some more, I don’t have time for...”. Uh huh. On any given Saturday scads of soccer moms pull up to the doors of the local mall and dump their teenage assault teams, armed with powerful credit cards. It is enough to make any SWAT member jealous. The teens then prowl the mall in search of a “bargain”. Our Puritan ancestors would shudder at the notion that a pair of jeans made in a third world sweatshop, priced at $49, is a “bargain”.

Notice that how quickly new toys become boring, and new clothes are “so last year”. This is the way it works. Is it any wonder we have a looming national debt, which safely rests on the laurels of consumer debt?
Now speed up this child into young adulthood. Add these factors together: Going to college means I will be successful because I will get a “good” job making lots of money and I will be happy. Lies. All lies. Kids are